We all know that Nigerians are kings in Africa when it comes to consumerism particularly for social purposes, but the most significant celebration by far in the Nigerian community are weddings.
When I hear the single 'Marry me' by Nigerian artist and comedian Falz, It brings an interesting memory.
Click the link below to watch the video.
Falz - Marry Me Featuring Yemi Alade
I recall standing in my mother's living room. She sits opposite me on the sofa. "With all these your trips to Naija, you haven't yet found someone to show for as your boyfriend."
She begins to lament the lack of seriousness among the youth in diaspora today.
"I don't understand this your generation, instead of you to go and marry you will be looking at yourselves." She continues "Your twenty-six in a few months. Four years from now you will be thirty."
For many Nigerians, it seems the concept of marriage is as simple as walking into a supermarket and purchasing a loaf of Agege bread. With the increasing rate of divorce, I don't think marriage is something I wish to jump or fall into. I was surprised at my mother's comments considering I have two elder siblings, I later found out that they too had received their own marriage lectures separately.
I had two friends at university who are married now, both met their spouses six or seven months prior to getting engaged. The first now has three children, her mother was eager for her to marry her then boyfriend despite the daughter (my friend) raising concerns about his aggressive behavior. Her spouse is well to do, they currently reside in a large detached house in the suburbs, she drives the latest edition range rover sport and her appearance is what my students would describe as being "On fleek.'' I must admit if you saw her in person you would never guess that she is subject to domestic violence on a daily basis. At times, she would call her mother in anguish. Her mother receives the call from her Abuja mansion (that her son-in-law purchased) and listens whilst her daughter narrates a situation for a good half hour, after which she responds "Just endure my dear, God is in control" with that she hangs up. Meanwhile, the husband is out on womanizing duty and the mother is content knowing that her daughter probably cries herself to sleep, yet coerced her child into marrying a man purely because of material gains - which evidently she had received her own share from.
The second friend had always loved traveling to Lagos on holidays like myself. Interestingly enough she met her husband at a wedding on the island. Things flourished and within a couple of months she called to inform me about the good news. I was surprised... I congratulated her but warned her to approach things with caution. She insisted that he was the "One" they had done several rallies's of prayer and fasting to confirm and that the families had met formally through the introduction process. She returned to Lagos where they were wed, the couple now resides in London. The latest update I got was that her spouse has a wife and four children in his hometown in Nigeria... None of this was mentioned during their introduction, though.
The mother of the groom said three of his siblings had tried to come to the UK several times but were refused entry... He sends part of his wife's earnings as remittance to his family back home whilst he's trying to secure a job. For now, his wife is responsible for the rent and bills.
After discussing with my mother at some length, she rounds up with "but not all marriages are like that. Genuine and god fearing men still exist." I do not disagree with her statement, neither am I taking a dig at those who get engaged quickly... Another friend got engaged to her spouse four months after meeting him, she has been married six years now and the couple is doing well. I guess every action in life involves an element of risk. Time reveals plenty but it does not reveal all! I'd rather be on the safe side than rush and end up sorry, but the truth I have no safety net because nothing in this life is guaranteed.
The moral of the story is: Marriage is to be enjoyed not endured, take your time but don't take too long O! and don't be too picky lol easier said than done right?
@folatheexplora
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